The Judgment Is the Job

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“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man (1871)

People quote that line as an early Dunning-Kruger. I’m convinced Darwin’s target was narrower. He aimed it at the people who confidently declared that science would never solve some particular problem.

The confidence he distrusted was the confidence to shut a door, not the confidence to try.

I think about it a lot right now, because the loudest confidence in my field is the door-shutting kind. Said with total certainty, usually by someone protecting a way of working they’ve already decided is the only honest one.

The faster things change, the harder it becomes to speak in certainties. The pace of this work has moved beyond what any one person can track. I can’t read every paper, test every framework, or stay current on my own. Neither can you. We have different ways of not admitting it.

For a long time my version of not admitting it looked like discipline. Do it all by hand. Read the source. Trust nothing I didn’t verify myself. It felt rigorous. It was actually a narrower funnel. That’s the ignorant confidence wearing a work ethic. It’s the most respectable shut door there is, because it looks like effort.

What’s changed for me is time. I have more things I want to build than I have life to build them in.

For years I thought “when you have kids, you’ll understand” was a smug non-explanation. The kind of thing people say when they don’t want to tell you anything real. I understand it now. Your goals don’t change. Mine didn’t. What changes is that the list of things you have to spend time on grows, and the new items aren’t optional.

Keeping small humans alive. Keeping the relationship with the person you chose. Some thin margin of looking after yourself so you don’t come apart. None of that was on the clock before. All of it is now, and it doesn’t move. So the math got worse while the ambition stayed exactly the same.

I love what I do. That’s the problem and the point. Loving the work means wanting more of it, and wanting more of it runs straight into the hours I owe other people.

And the thing is, there’s a tempting fix, and I’ve watched a lot of good people take it. You quietly steal the time back from the people in your life. The relationship gets the leftovers. You tell yourself it’s a season. The season doesn’t end.

Good news/bad news, there is an alternative, and it sure is harder than the tempting one. But hear me out.

What if you stop doing every part yourself.

I called that rigor for years. The work felt like mine when I’d touched every piece of it, and it took me too long to ask whether that feeling was making any of it better. Spoiler alert maybe not.

So I’ve started letting other things take the first pass. The first scan. The first rough answer.

I keep the part that’s actually mine, which is deciding whether any of it holds up. I cover more ground that way, and the judgment still stops with me.

I used to measure myself by what I produced. The stack of things I’d shipped was proof I was worth something.

I’m trying to stop believing that.

I know the part that actually matters is the judgment. Which problem is worth a whole week. Where the confident-sounding answer is quietly wrong, and when to stop. Working more hours doesn’t touch any of that, and the hours aren’t there anyway.

What helps is spending the ones I have on the calls only I can make, and letting the rest go.

That said, I’m terrible at the letting go. The version of me who did every piece by hand still wants to go straight for the tempting fix. I can see all of that clearly and still not be free of it.

Case in point: I’m writing this out of office-ish, and in the first week I shipped like I was sitting at my desk. Nobody asked me to. The workday kept going because I kept it going. That’s the door, still half-shut, held there by the confidence Darwin distrusted.

I’m not there yet. But I know the way, and that’s further than I was.

My view for the next two days, by the way. Starlink is amazing.